Beautiful sunset
by sevenofmine
Summary: Takes place after the novels "Enigma Tales" by Una McCormack and "Control" by David Mack. Hence, spoilers and read on your own risk. But please read it. After an attack on Garak's house, he and Julian have to flee. But from whom? And where to? Garashir.
1. Chapter 1

**I realised yesterday that there is a lack of Garashir fanfiction in my life. So here we go.**

**It takes place after "Control" (book by David Mack) and is based also on Una McCormack's really, really great novels, so beware of spoilers and read at your own risk.**

* * *

"Oh Julian," Garak sighed when he entered the room. The last sunrays were entering the window, dowsing the room in a pleasant yellow-ochre and illuminating Kukalaka who had fallen onto the floor.

Garak strode forward and picked up the plush animal. "Poor Kukalaka," he said and put him back on the armrest of the chair that Julian sat on. The doctor hadn't moved an inch since Garak had come in and neither did he stir now.

Garak regarded the sundown. "It's not quite the view from the Castellan's housing, but I am sure you enjoy my own house as well. After all, it's decoration has a far better taste. I had tried to make the most of my Castellan's time, but some walls are constructed to just never please one's eye."

Garak moved the wheelchair (of course without wheels, we are in the 24th century after all) to face the inside of the room. It was small, contained nothing but a bed, a nearly empty wardrobe, and a desk whose dust was regularly cleaned off.

The former Castellan now sat down on the sofa opposite to the doctor and crossed his legs. He sighed again and looked into the tired face of the human.

"We might have to shave you tomorrow again," he found himself saying. "As much as I like your beard, you are beginning to get grey."

Julian did not respond.

"We are alone tonight, you know. Parmak has gone on a conference. To Bajor of all places. He won't be back until after the weekend. I don't know what to do now with my time... besides cleaning this place, tending the garden or maybe catching up on the latest news... I do know how to keep myself busy, don't I. I have to say though, I am glad that it is not women's dresses now that I see all day. Only yesterday I asked a tailor to shorten my trousers. I could have done it myself, and I wish to pretend that I just didn't have the time to do it, but I think we both know that tailoring is not my favourite exercise."

Garak rested his eyes first on Julian, then on various objects in the room. The desk, the bed. A holoimage of DS9's former senior personnel. A view items he had collected during his time as an ambassador: a small replica of the Tour d'Eiffel, a stone from the Icelandic coast, a Jade representation of a religious figure from India (though Garak had lost track of the various religions of Earth, and to be honest, he had never been very interested on what other people believed to be the reason for their existence), a boomerang from Australia (a cliché, but it had been a gift, so he had had no excuse to turn it down), and a book in a language he had never learnt. He had hoped that items representing Julian's home planet would somehow trigger something in him, but so far, he has been disappointed.

Could he really call it "disappointed"? After all, Julian was here. He had been returned to him, because of all people in the galaxy, he was the person who was trusted most to care for the doctor. Such a long time since Julian forced me to overcome my drug addiction, Garak thought, and now I am the one looking after him. I have become your doctor, my dear doctor.

He sighed again and got up. "Time for bed," he announced and drove the doctor towards the Cardassian bed. He had added to layers of blankets, knowing that most humans found Cardassian beds uncomfortable, even the civilian ones. The beds on the military station Terok Nor were a completely different thing.

Slowly, Garak began to undress Julian. He avoided this work and usually, a household help or Parmak did it. He felt uncomfortable with Julian being so vulnerable. It was as if he was invading his private space, taking advantage of the situation.

Once Julian wore nothing but his underwear, Garak heaved him carefully onto the bed to put on his night clothes. He tucked the human in and sat on the bedside like a father bringing his son to sleep. Only that he was a friend whose love may never be returned in the way that it was given.

Who knew what went on in Julian's head right now. Parmak had examined him, so had the best doctors of Cardassia and even visiting doctors from other worlds Garak had begged to take a look at his patient. But no one had been able to help hi. It was a psychological thing, they said. And that was something Garak would have known even without their consultation.

He did not expect Julian to just snap out of it like many people expected their friends with depression to. Julian was more than depressed. His heart was torn apart, his soul stamped on, and his believe in humanoidkind more than destroyed. His thoughts must be devastated and his shattered vision of the future most probably resembled a barren wasteland. There was nothing there for him. That's at least what Garak imagined his thoughts to be about. He did not even know whether he acknowledged his presence, whether he perceived his surrounding.

"Do you want me to read you a good night story?", Garak asked, not expecting an answer.

Julian stared at the ceiling. Garak had put pictures up there which he had taken on Earth. He had been to many places, even to the United Kingdom and India which Julian regarded as his origins. Maybe he didn't even recognise the places in the photos.

Garak cleared his throat and opened the book on the night table.

"It was that night that I began to understand the beauty in it all. Death, a point in the circle of life, was nothing but the beginning of a journey. One that we can tell no one about. But we live it, yes, we live it, and then we die again and we call it birth. Over and over again we do the same mistakes, we meet the same people, reborn, we live the same joys, and we embrace our future as much as we fear it. And so a new lap was begun: Talak was dead and so he returned. No one, not even he, knows who he is now: is he the butcher at the corner of the street, is he the maid who cleans the minister's house, or is he the beggar who you had no coins for?"

Garak looked up and noticed that Julian had already fallen into a long, deep sleep.

"That was quick, Julian," he muttered and closed the book. "The cycle goes on and on again, the protagonist just realised that. It is a very important piece of literature where the protagonist realises he is in a cycle of life. It is the closest we have to your so-called 'fourth wall break' in Earth literature. Although in our books, it is never as direct. In general, our culture is not as direct. Or I would have told you how I felt about you decades ago."

Garak sighed again and put the book bed on the night table. "Good night, Julian. Sleep well."

He stood up and walked towards the door. "Computer, lights out."

In his bed, Julian turned his head and looked at the empty place where Garak had sit only a few moments ago.


	2. Chapter 2

In his own quarters, Garak got ready for bed within minutes, but then he lay with his eyes open for a long time. With Parmak gone, he realised how quiet it was. The doctor had never been overly talkative but just the presence of a person created an umdescribeable noise that somehow now was not here anymore.

And Julian was the most silent person ever. Not because of him not talking but because of him not moving. His tranquility was what upset Garak the most. He wondered if he was even listening to him or whether he was just thinking about her.

"Her." I can call her by her name, Garak thought. He had never seen women as a competition, and even when Julian had been dating, he had found time to honour their lunch dates. And even though Garak had known that he could not come closer to him, having him that close had been enough. And he had told himself this lie over and over again, repetition like a Cardassian novel, but the truth was that he was lonely and he loved him. And he wished he had told him that when he had had the chance.

Sarina. Ezri. Leeta. Had he been jealous of them without acknowledging this thought? After all, he had only had one true relationship in his past, and it had been responsible for his misery. Did he really wish to plunge himself into something that unforeseeable? Had he not learnt from his mistake? Was it... a mistake... after all?

His mind always circled back to Sarina. She was dead and it had broken Julian. He was there, but how was he supposed to flick together a heart. Julian was the surgeon of the two after all.

He must have dozen off eventually, because he shrieked out of a dream by the beeping of his portable computer.

It was long past midnight and the only person calling him at this hiur must be someone from a different timezone or a different planet.

And so it was.

"Parmak," he exclaimed surprised when he saw the face of the good doctor on the screen.

"Hello Elim. I am sorry for disturbing you at this hour."

"I was having a rough sleep anyway. What is it?"

Parmak sighed and Garak recognised the signifier of bad news. "I will have to stay on Bajor longer than expected. They have an outbreak of Rexilian measles on the south continent and even though they have made marvellous progress in the recent decade, they have a significant lack in competent doctors... basically half the conference has joined the effort to reduce the outbreak."

"I understand," Garak said and felt numb. It was as if all feelings had been drained. "How long will it take?"

"We don't know. I will keep in contact."

Garak nodded and ended the comm-programm. He was staring at the screen while his head was doing summersaults. How much time would he be alone with Julian? Of course, there was the cleaning lady and his nurse. But they came and went, while he would have to do everything else. He would have to cook and feed Julian. He would have to bring him to bed. He would have to give him medicine. He would have to entertain him. Keep him company.

Slowly, he stood up and his feet carried him all the way to Julian's room.

The human doctor was sleeping calmly in his bed and his breathing was regular. Garak silently closed the door behind him and tiptoed to Kukalaka who was resting in the chair. He picked him up and went to the window that Julian looked out of all day. With the teddy bear in his arms, Garak sat down and stared outside until the sun rose.

No matter how lost in thought he was,he always admired the sun setting and rising at the horizon. It made him remember everything: his first mission, his first best friend Pythas, his first love, his first kiss, Ziyal, and Julian. As if pinched with a hot needle, he turned around. Julian had not moved, but his eyes were open. He was staring at the ceiling but through the pictures.

Garak stood up. "Are we awake yet, doctor?" he asked and pulled back the bed clothes. "Oh yes, we are," he muttered when he saw the soaked blankets. "Let's get you cleaned up."

After having washed Julian and given him a shave to trim his beard back, after having fed him and changed the blankets, Julian was sitting in front of the window again, staring at the Cardassian city, the commuters rushing through the Torr district, and the sun climbing further up the sky.

Around midday, a Bajoran nurse came to see her. She had emigrated during the Plague, and she was living in a prestigious district of the town where racist comments were only thought but not spoken.

In the afternoon, Garak forced himself to see Julian and read him a letter that Professor O'Brien had written him about his work at Starfleet Engineering.

Julian did not ract. All this time, Garak was holding Kukalaka in his arm. He had done his work with the bear on his desk, he had eaten lunch with the bear on his table, he was now reading from a padd holding him in his arm. When Garak left again, he could not bear to look Julian into the face. If he had done so, he would have noticed a single tear running over his cheek.

But Garak instead went into his home office and sat down at his desk with Kukalaka in his arms and cried his own tears.

In the evening, he pulled himself together and visited Julian once again. "I thought we might watch a movie together," he suggested and took Julian to his living room. He installed him on the couch and placed Kukalaka in his lap. Then he started the holo-video-projector and chose a 21st century Earth movie that showed as much places of the planet as possible.

"The main character does travel a lot, doesn't he?", he said, not complaining about how unrealistic it would be for a superspy to go by his own name and order the same drink everwhere he went.

Suddenly, without any warning, half the living room was engulfed in flames. Garak jumped up and looked at the broken window. A shadow moved just out of his sight. He grabbed Julian and placed him over his shoulder. The doctor did not protest. Of course he didn't.

Garak rushed through the terace door into the garden. Looking back, he saw that the first floor had also caught fire. He ran towards the front of the house where his neighbours had gathered on the streets, already spreading expressions of disbelief and rumours. A former spy and Castellan's house did not just catch fire on two floors independently.

The whispers were cut through by the earsplitting sound of the fire brigade. Everything went so fast that Garak hardly had any time to say anything. A firefighter dragged him towards an ambulance where Julian was taken from his shoulders. Garak refused to go to hospital, so he was made sit at the steps into the hover-vehicle with a blanket laid around his shoulders and a tea pressed into his hands. He was then made to watch how his father's once proud home burnt down to nothing but debris and ashes. The sky was becoming light blue and hinting an immediate sunrise, but the smoke darkened their view.

When two police officers went up to Garak, one Cardassian, the other a Xindi Federation officer,he did not even have the vigour to lie anymore.

"We don't know the source of the fire yet, but eye witnesses report hearing windows shattering and blazes starting at two different floors."

"Who do you think would attack me like this?" Garak asked not trying to persuade the officer of an accident, but at the same time putting up an innocent face that no one would believe him anyway.

"Well, we could ask you to put together a list of your enemies, but no one has enough time to read such a long list," the Xindi officer replied dryly.

"We will investigate into all directions, but we would like to ask you to accept police security and to stay at a safe, to the public unknown place for today," the Cardassian officer added.

Garak nodded. "Dr Bashir will come with me," he said and pointed at the doctor lying in the ambulance.

"Is he conscious?", the Cardassian asked.

"He does not react to his surrounding. I can carry him for now, but he will need a hover-chair." He climbed into the ambulance and looked at the doctor. He was lying with his head facing the side of the wall while his hands were clutching Kukalaka. Garak rested his eyes on the teddy bear before realising what was odd. Bashir had not reacted to anything, not even been able to grab anything. And now he was holding on to the bear, his hands actually gripping the plush.

Garak's reaction was fast and he knew that he had not finished the thought sufficiently. He pushed the button to fast-close the doors and hurried to the driver's seat. He ignited the engine and ignoring the shouts of the police officers, he drove off into the the direction that would get him out of the city the quickest.


End file.
